I talk so much. Inside of my own head I speak ten thousand words – the constant procession of my thoughts. Sometimes the words I speak to myself carry in them little deposits of Truth, of Christ, of His words. Other times, my thoughts are guilt-ridden or unnerving or harsh or lethargically pessimistic.
And sometimes the thoughts in my head aren’t mine. Sometimes they are so startlingly un-me that I burst into tears because I know God is cupping my face in His hands and talking to me directly, right down deep into my mind and spirit.
I often cry when this happens because the things He says are precisely what I wanted most desperately to hear, without having a clue I so needed to hear them. He says things to me that come out of left field to pierce me clean through with their slender and severe gentleness.
And before I can even process these startling words from Him, I melt into an instant reaction of tears – an emotional responsiveness to Him that feels almost involuntary. I think His words touch places within me that I have never been willing or able to expose, they uncover me before His gaze, and my vulnerability feels at once delightful and painful.
These are the best and most real moments I’ve had on this earth – the moments the Father speaks to me with clear and intimate precision, with words that flood into my innermost being and linger there like a whispering hurricane.
I am so vulnerable in those moments. I am so uncovered. All of my self-made garments of shame, doubt, guilt, performance, and pessimism slip off my shoulders, and I exist before God as the truest Emily – the Emily who isn’t hiding or proving something or trying to convince or impress.
And so come the tears.
I am painfully and beautifully and thankfully laid bare of my dozen props, masks, and suits of suffocating armor.
… Vulnerable before the Father.
And His words dive into the center of my being, living and crackling with His energetic and overwhelming love.
God talks, and everything changes.
Today, I want nothing so much as for me and for you – for each of us – to hear His voice.
Here is a place to begin: